The first leg of the Idol process draws to a close with the hodge podge assortment of auditions left over from the seven cities Idol has already traveled, and I have two theories why we needed one more show when most of us (myself included) are probably bone weary of this segment of the show. One, it helps milk more money out of the advertisers. Two, it puts in your most recent memory the people who are most likely to survive the hazing week in Hollywood. Ryan promises that Idol has saved the best for last... and I'm beginning to think this was on purpose.
When I said yesterday that I had peeked at the spoilers and didn't remember anyone, I was partially correct. But names that came up on today's show triggered my memory and I can safely say - if the spoilers are to be believed - you'll want to remember some of these faces.
N' that's all I'm saying.
The Road to Hollywood episode also gave producers the chance to remind you of that initial diddy "Pants on the Ground" just in case you had blissfully forgotten it, or... if by chance you live under a rock and had missed it entirely thus far. They showed all the remixes, and if you head on over to American Idol Dot Com you'll find merchandising.
What we really want to know, Ryan, is if y'all are paying General Larry for the mileage you're getting off of his original composition and performance.
There were several contestants highlighted who had already auditioned, including Jessica Furney from Kansas, who shrewdly picked a song that was co-written by none other than Simon Cowell. Her performance was a'ight, but what stood out most to guest judge Victoria Beckham was that Simon had mad songwriting skillz. She then proceeded to grill him on why he hadn't written more.
In the end, second time was a charm for Jessica as she made it through to Hollywood.
And Lacey Brown, a 23 year old church director from Amarillo, Texas, got a ticket to go *back* to Hollywood. Last year she lost her spot out to Megan Joy, and even with the grating version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", I became quite resentful I had to endure the caterwauling that became Megan Joy's legacy on Season 8.
And, as a fellow redheaded Texas - it's nice to root for one of my own amidst the ocean of blond that made it to Hollywood this year.
Amanda Schectman promises to be the Most. Annoying. Contestant. Ever. (Okay, maybe not ever. That honor went to Tatiana Del Toro.) The minute she started to sing Britney Spears in a baby voice (which is like adding nails to a chalk board while hitting you in the face with a spikey wooden bat), I knew this girl was going to be the thorn in my side.
And I'm not even sure there's a word that fits why she irks me so. I just know she rubs me the wrong way from her theatrics to her fake, tearless crying.
And she got through to Hollywood Week - where the opportunities for more fake crying and theatrics is a virtual freaking guarantee.
NEXT.
They rolled through the auditions of the musicians who were forced to sing without their instruments, further proving my hypothesis about how musicians almost use their instruments as safety blankets during performances. But Lee Dewyze (is it De-Wise or De-Weezy? I kinda hope it's the latter), and Crystal Bowersox bring both their mad skills and their unusual names to Hollywood next week.
Is it wrong I look more forward to how they play than how they sing?
Some of the nontalents make you wonder what exactly is the criteria for the preliminary Idol process that gets you through to see Simon, Kara, Randy et al. I guess pathos makes good TV.
The influx of 16 year olds that made it through this year almost ensure that more than one spot will be open for the talented bunch of kids - some who already have competition experience... like Aaron Kelly. He had the requisite sob story and the big pipes, and showed more potential than David Archuleta... and isn't quite as annoying (yet).
Hope Johnson also brought her sob story to the show, but as she talked about not having money or food all I could think of was how did her teeth get so white?
Now there are two ways - aside from, you know, talent - that can get you past the firing squad.
One, you can capture their heart by wearing your heart on your sleeve... much like hippie chick Didi Benami of Hollywood. Dedicating her audition to her late best friend, she tackled "Hey Jude" and put her own individual spin on it. Although her version made me want to listen to the original, even I wasn't immune to her tears.
Real tears.
Take a lesson, Amanda. That's how you really cry.
The other way is to show up with arms as big as someone's waist. Personal trainer Michael Lynche came into the audition looking like he could bench press the table and all the judges behind it, yet sang "Unchained Melody" with unexpected tenderness. It's a good thing he had talent, otherwise it would have been a very short season for Simon after he delivered a snarky rejection.
Of course, it's hard to be intimidated by a guy who brags more about his unborn baby than his "big guns" - which my son aptly called "cannons".
But it'll be reeeeeeally interesting to see how the other contestants react to Michael when they get to Hollywood (and the inevitable group song and dance number).
They close the show with a tease of what we can look forward to next week, and I'm psyched that Ellen will finally be joining the show. In fact, aside from Tyler Grady from Week One, she's the only real reason I look forward to seeing any more of this show.
There are two reasons for this.
As a rule I do try to stay detached until we reach the top 24 because odds of early favorites getting cut are very, very high.
Of the 100,000 or more that come out, a few hundred make it to Hollywood. Out of that, only 12 guys and 12 girls get to the semi-finals round. Hollywood Week is the most dramatic and drastic of the cuts, and I've found it's just better to hold back until the last biggest cut is made.
Secondly, from the audition process there really have been no "stand out stars" - who have that lil somethin' somethin' I'm looking for in an idol (ala Constantine, ala Daughtry ala Adam Lambert). My son summed it up thusly... an Idol is someone you're going to want to pay money to hear perform. The closest one I figure is Tyler... so I look forward to hearing more from him.
But as far as the rest, it really does feel they're going back to their highlight an amateur roots. So the potential is high to create a star, not necessarily find one.
Either way... next week is Ellen, and that's all I need.
Hollywood... here we come.
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