And after what I saw tonight, I'm a little skeptical that this would be the "final" list. I won't spoil anything for you, and truth is I don't remember enough of the list (especially the girls) to really give a biased review of the new talent we saw tonight. But there is one contestant reported to make it through that I do remember and was looking forward to the audition, only to have that one audition make me the most skeptical of that leaked list.
And we'll talk about that more after the top 24 are chosen.
Now, on to Denver. We're joined again by the lovely and sweet Victoria Beckham (still in need of a good home cooked meal) and as the show kicked off we were introduced to Mark Labriola, a 28 year old self described doppleganger of actor Jack Black. I think by describing him as the ugliest man in Hollywood he significantly reduced his chances of ever working with Jack - but having said that I think that Hollywood is definitely a place that could use the likes of Mark in pretty much whatever capacity.
I didn't figure he could actually *sing*, and was quite surprised when after what sounded like a completely riffed yarn he wove, that he wasn't a joke.
But what sealed the deal for me where the tears he shed genuine tears of waiting for that dream to come true right up to the very last dying breaths of it.
It got me... right *here*.
Kimberly Kerbow, a 24 year old college student who wore her California all over her, showed her cheeky side as she teased Simon about Rogaine while ironically wearing a wig - although no one had the heart to actually point that out to her while she was auditioning. She has a look, the spirit and the personality... I wouldn't be surprised if she lasted to the final 24.
But who *needs* to get to the final 24 is Danelle Hayes, who arrived to her audition a bundle of nerves on the edge of tears. She was feeling the strain of risking it all for a dream after paying her dues in karaoke clubs and singing in cover bands. Simon - who is a big teddy bear underneath it all - recognized it and pointed it out without a bit of snarkiness that she had arrived to that audition right in time.
She belted Melissa Etheridge's "I'm the Only One" in a go for broke way that just underscored her entire commitment to her dream. When she made it through, no one was cheering more than me. My only concern is if she's got what it takes to make it through the grueling Hollywood Week that definitely separates the weak from the strong.
Let's hope she can dig deep and bring that strength that has brought her thus far.
If you know me then you know I have a weakness for long haired men. In fact, it's almost Pavlovian in my response to them - the minute I see long hair on a guy my head whips around and there's a part of me that is going remained biased... such was the case with 27 year old Casey James from Fort Worth.
He had been in a motorcycle accident that had left him injured and impacted his chosen career as a musician. He had crystal clear blue eyes and long blond hair that had my attention from the get go.
He has a good sound and a marketable look (especially to people like me) but Simon wasn't wrong in saying he needed more star power, more charisma. I'm of the mind it has to do more with the fact he wasn't behind an instrument. Many contestants in the past (Season Seven's Jason Castro and maybe even last season's winner Kris Allen?) have shined only when they are behind the comfort of their instrument... and I'm hoping that when it comes to Hollywood that's where we'll see him blossom and earn a place in the top 24.
I wouldn't mind it.
As long as he doesn't cut his hair.
Tori Kelly, a little too dangerously older than she looks 16 year old came next, and grated a bit on Simon with her voice. He said no, but the other judges said yes, giving the other obviously California girl a ride back to her home state. I tend to think Simon will overrule this one when the time comes, even though I think she's definitely got a look and sound that could fit into the pop scene.
If she doesn't make it through, she can always audition next year. And the year after. And the year after that.
That's the beauty of being 16 on American Idol.
But as far as personality and standing out she was outdone by Nicci Nix, who flew all the way from Italy to wow the judges with her singing prowess and almost too cute to be real girly voice.
Interestingly her voice deepens as she sings, which I think is a good thing. There is definitely too much of a good thing when it comes to sounding like you've been sucking on a helium tank.
But she's cute and fun and she's already got the pop idol name... I'm reserving judgment to see more.
Finally there was Haeley Vaughn, who seeks to fill the very small niche of black country cross over artists (can you say Hootie? I know that you can!). Her bubbly personality won over the judges who sent her through because they made the very correct observation that she definitely stood out from the crowd, and she was one of the many 16 year olds who won a trip to the next round.
It's gotten to where I don't even want to handicap the teenagers anymore. I'll just fill one of the 24 with "Generic Teen Pop Girl" and when one of them makes it I can say, "See? I told you."
Now we had been doing a fun little segment to sum up the non talents this season with "What Not to Do on American Idol" - a sum of the best of the worst auditions for Season Nine.
Well, my lovelies, we can cease this segment on the very low note of the ultimate WNTD by summing it up thusly...
If you're a dude, don't - for the love of God, my eyes and the opportunity for any other guy to ever get laid again - DO NOT audition for Idol wearing a two piece bikini.
And singing Billy Ray Cyrus...that's just insult to injury, man.
So that ends our infamous but short lived "What Not to Do on American Idol".
Move it along, people. Nothing more to see here.
Until tomorrow... and I change my mind.
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