Can 2009 really have turned out this badly? I mean, really. All year it's been nothing but misery. You've got pop stars dropping dead, vampires making crappy movies, Kanye West and Sarah Palin writing books--when does the pain end? Unfortunately, I can assure you it doesn't end today. Because Oprah has announced she is leaving television forever. Yes--forever.
Ok well, probably not forever. And definitely not until 2011, but Oprah is making a big fuss about it so we all might as well join in the blubbering fun.
Yesterday, Oprah made the tearful announcement that after 25 years of talking about menopause, Celine Dion and weight loss, she is pulling the plug on her talk show. What the hell are all the sexually frustrated middle-aged divorcees of the world going to do at 5/4c on weekdays now, you wonder? Weep incessantly into the pages of Oprah's magazine, I'm guessing.
Or maybe they can all just turn on Oprah's new television channel or attend one of Oprah's African schools or read Oprah's book club books or watch Oprah's movies or buy all of Oprah's Favorite Things or--do just about anything in the world because chances are no matter what you buy, say, do or think, Oprah had a hand in making it happen because Oprah owns and operates everything in the world, with or without a stupid talk show.
Just ask Dr. Phil.
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